D is for Delightful

Arctic Monkeys are always great. And UAN is always nail-biting.

Therefore, I would like to give a video of Arctic Monkeys interview for the students who are facing the national exam.



Well, that's quite irrelevant, isn't that? Who cares? Good luck for you all.

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It is not a multiple personality disorder, and doctors cannot save me



All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles


Okay, long time no posting positive thoughts. Sorry for sharing too much emotions and sadness in this blog. I've become a very troubled person these days.

I watched the series "Touched by an Angel" today. And even though I'm a Muslim, I get the point of the message of this series. The episode I watched was about Lonnie, a man possessed by a demon. Yeah, for all of you who don't believe in God and other things that cannot be seen, this series and particularly this episode would seem to be boring. However, the episode really touched my heart. I understand what Lonnie felt. It is torturing when your soul is controlled by something evil, then you become something that you're not.

And the most touching part was when Duncan, Lonnie's friend said, "God will never give up on you. He sends you angels."

and after that, when Lonnie finally got over the demon, Duncan said, "Welcome home, Lonnie."

I guess I cannot explain it in a more unlaughable way.

Well, go on, normal people. Go and laugh at me. All I know is that I believe in something our eyes cannot see.


------------------


P.S. the picture is Eleanor Rigby's statue in Stanley Street, Liverpool.

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Greenpeace, I Quit

Okay, I know this entry will sound offensive for some people. I don't know about Greenpeace International, but I really really really really dislike Greenpeace Indonesia.

As a member of Greenpeace, I always got newsletters from them. And I don't think I share the same vision with them anymore. They're just too much.
And the way they said it: Sinar Mas, perusak hutan Indonesia terbesar, saat ini memasok minyak kelapa sawit bagi Nestle, produsen coklat terkenal KitKat, untuk produk global mereka.

For me, it was just way tooooo impolite and judgmental. Other than that, I often watch on tv and find that their activities are way toooo radical. They seem to be more like "seeking popularity" than "protecting the earth."

Therefore, I don't want to give my money for nothing. I'm gonna stop my donation, as soon as I finish my teacher training program and my french course.

Maybe I shall go back to WWF. Or maybe I shall try Profauna. They are way moooore honest.

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When are you arriving? My propeller won't spin and I can't get it started on my own.

Finally, Arctic Monkeys' My Propeller video is available on youtube! :D

Let's watch. Amazing video. As amazing as the song. [hmpfh]


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I Can't Get a Life If My Heart's Not In It

Give me a minute, a man's got a limit
I can't get a life if my heart's not in it

Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle


Seriously, I don't understand why people keep acting like they know everything about me and that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I AM NOT. Sorry to say.

"Everyone will be happy if you can immediately get a job after graduating."

"I will be happy if I were you, Rim."

"You're the most perfect and blessed girl. blablabla."

What if I'm not? What if you're wrong and I'm not like other people? I'm not everything you think I am? What if I don't want to get a job immediately? What if I want to take a rest for a while after 3.5 years of having a pain in the ass?

Why should I like what most people like? What if I don't want to get married? What if I don't want to have a child? What if I really love my parents but I cannot fulfill everything they want because I'm only human?

What if I don't want to dress like other people, when they want to have an interview? What if I HATE interview? What if I don't like people telling me what to do? What if I don't want to be judged from my appearance? What if I don't want to try to convince others so that they believe that I'm experienced even when I'm actually not? What if I cannot talk to new people easily? What if I don't hang around with people because I like to be alone? What if I miss my old friends? What if I don't want my mom to get involved in anything I do because she will mess up everything? What if I want to tell many things to my mom but she can't be trusted anymore at all? What if people don't understand you and you will never understand people?

What if I don't want to change myself just to please other people?

WHAT IF YOU WERE ME? WILL YOU BE HAPPY NOW?

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While Waiting for The Rain to Stop

Okay, I'm waiting for the rain to stop. If it doesn't stop yet, I won't be able go to my faculty to assist Writing class. God, I hope it will stop raining soon.

Meanwhile, I have translated two professor profiles and I have finished two Teacher Training journals.

Give me a big applause!!! *clap clap clap* ---> nevermind

---------------------------------------------------

Still waiting for the rain to stop, I'm gonna tell you about my future plans. I'm planning to try Fulbright scholarship program. I want to study linguistics in America. Wish me luck.

I'm planning to focus on pragmatics, sociolinguistics, and historical linguistics. If I could I want to discuss about bahasa Indonesia and Indonesian local languages in my future thesis. And I have observed some universities in the U.S. And I have to choose 3 universities that I would like to attend. However, I found these four:

Yale University


It is one of the best universities in the U.S. It also has one of the best linguistics department. But I got only a little information from the site. I'm not sure whether or not they will encourage my ideas about Bahasa Indonesia and Indonesian local languages. However, they do encourage researches on sociolinguistics and historical linguistics. And I love the location (I love eastern part of the US). Moreover, the member of The Ivy Leagues. haihaihai.

Cornell University

I love the location. It is also the member of The Ivy Leagues. I love the campus panorama. My favourite professor, Bu Melanie Budianta is the alumni of this university. It has one of the best linguistic programs in the US. But... but... when it comes to historical linguistics and sociolinguistics, Cornell focuses only on the European or Indo-European languages. T___T
Stanford University

It is one of the best universities in the U.S. It also has the BEST and the most complete linguistic programs. I just don't like the location. I don't like California.

University of Hawaii Manoa


It is probably not the best university in the US. However, it supports sociolinguistic and historical linguistic research on Austronesian languages (including bahasa Indonesia and Indonesian local languages). I like the panorama in Hawaii.... but I'm afraid of Tsunami and Russia's plan to have a missile test in the North Pole. XD

So, which one should be my priority? and which one do you think should I eliminate from the list? I can only choose three. [read]

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Thanatophobia

Innalillaahi wa inna ilahi roojiun.

From Allah we come and to Allah we return.

Today, one of my mom's best friends, Uncle Ahlan, died.

I just met him last week. On Wednesday, February 24.

Now today, he died.

I pray that God will forgive his sins and mistakes, and that He will take Uncle Ahlan's good deeds.

I'm sad, not only because he's a nice person, but also because he's so nice to both of my parents. I love people who are nice to the people I love.

And last week, when I sounded a little bit complaining about my current job, he said, "That's good. At least you know that life is never easy. When you are faced by difficulties, you learn something from this life," he said, more or less.

His advice made me feel better and started to think that I should stop complaining about my job and try to accept everything as the way things are.

His death also reminded me with my mom. She's old now. I know she's suffering from many diseases. She often suffers from insomnia. She's afraid of going to sleep because she said she's afraid that she couldn't open her eyes anymore one day.

She's afraid of death. I am afraid, too. But when the death arrives, I can only accept everything as the way things are.

I should be more thankful to what I've got. I'm really a type of person who doesn't know what I got till it's gone. I often treat my mom improperly. Sometimes it seems like I take her for granted. I am not a good daughter because sometimes I cannot fulfill my mom's wishes.

One of my mom's wishes is.... to see me married and have children.

But I can't give her grandchildren. I don't want to get married (at least that's what I feel at the moment).

But I really want to make my mom happy and fulfill her wishes. I want to make her proud. I know that I can't stay forever with her. Because I know someday we will be separated. Either by death, or by life.

Oh my, she called me. I will talk to you later, bloggy.

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Not Every Heart Belongs to Any Other



Okay, I feel like losing my humanity. I heard some terrible news about the world, including the earthquake in Haiti and Chille. I really want to help them, but all I can do is just praying that they won't lead to more horrible natural disasters.

I used to be a person who really cares about the condition of the world. However, seeing the chaos on earth everyday (either by natural causes or by human errors) has turned me into a very apathetic person. It seems like I'm losing my heart. I just feel extremely bored with the world. I'm fed up of hoping for everything good but ending up stuck in a cruel reality.

There's still a part of me, though, that really hopes that I can do something for the world. Okay, I'm still a Greenpeace member, and I still do some philanthropic activities once in a while. But I still feel that what I have done is nothing, and there's nothing I could do to bring a better life on earth, especially in my country. And when I wanted to write a study objective for Fulbright Scholarship application, I was confused on what should I write about the things I would like to contribute to my country.

Moreover, watching some chaos caused by Indonesian people nowadays (including the news on any Century Bank case-related chaos) makes me feel like I would love to really hate this country from the bottom of my heart.

Well... I'm still trying to think positively, though...


.........................................................................................................But thinking is tiring.

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Dedicated to My All-Time Favourite Linguist

Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.

Noam Chomsky

The father of modern linguistics, should I say? He used to be a psychologist, before moving on further to linguistic studies. Now he studies politics with linguistic perspectives. I adore his interdisciplinary approaches. I'm really interested in his psycholinguistic theory about the language acquisition. The idea that we, humans, have a blueprint in mind containing knowledge about language. Okay, this theory has been criticized a lot. But at least, this theory has opened a new perspective on linguistics, that language is not simply a part of learning that involves human efforts, but also a part of God's secret that still can't be resolved until now. Chomsky pointed out mystery of languages that can't be explained rationally. For me, this shows that language is supra-rational, beyond our knowledge as a limited creature. And that shows there are things beyond us that our mind cannot reach. Language is one of them.

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