I Can't Get a Life If My Heart's Not In It

Give me a minute, a man's got a limit
I can't get a life if my heart's not in it

Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle

Seriously, I don't understand why people keep acting like they know everything about me and that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I AM NOT. Sorry to say.

"Everyone will be happy if you can immediately get a job after graduating."

"I will be happy if I were you, Rim."

"You're the most perfect and blessed girl. blablabla."

What if I'm not? What if you're wrong and I'm not like other people? I'm not everything you think I am? What if I don't want to get a job immediately? What if I want to take a rest for a while after 3.5 years of having a pain in the ass?

Why should I like what most people like? What if I don't want to get married? What if I don't want to have a child? What if I really love my parents but I cannot fulfill everything they want because I'm only human?

What if I don't want to dress like other people, when they want to have an interview? What if I HATE interview? What if I don't like people telling me what to do? What if I don't want to be judged from my appearance? What if I don't want to try to convince others so that they believe that I'm experienced even when I'm actually not? What if I cannot talk to new people easily? What if I don't hang around with people because I like to be alone? What if I miss my old friends? What if I don't want my mom to get involved in anything I do because she will mess up everything? What if I want to tell many things to my mom but she can't be trusted anymore at all? What if people don't understand you and you will never understand people?

What if I don't want to change myself just to please other people?


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