Okay, I feel like losing my humanity. I heard some terrible news about the world, including the earthquake in Haiti and Chille. I really want to help them, but all I can do is just praying that they won't lead to more horrible natural disasters.
I used to be a person who really cares about the condition of the world. However, seeing the chaos on earth everyday (either by natural causes or by human errors) has turned me into a very apathetic person. It seems like I'm losing my heart. I just feel extremely bored with the world. I'm fed up of hoping for everything good but ending up stuck in a cruel reality.
There's still a part of me, though, that really hopes that I can do something for the world. Okay, I'm still a Greenpeace member, and I still do some philanthropic activities once in a while. But I still feel that what I have done is nothing, and there's nothing I could do to bring a better life on earth, especially in my country. And when I wanted to write a study objective for Fulbright Scholarship application, I was confused on what should I write about the things I would like to contribute to my country.
Moreover, watching some chaos caused by Indonesian people nowadays (including the news on any Century Bank case-related chaos) makes me feel like I would love to really hate this country from the bottom of my heart.
Well... I'm still trying to think positively, though...
.........................................................................................................But thinking is tiring.
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