I Swear, I Don't Have Guns

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it'd come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail

Nirvana - You Know You're Right

Today is Kurt Cobain's Birthday. If he's still alive, he would be 43 now.

He's my inspiration. I adore him wholeheartedly.

I've been loving his songs since I was a child. But the first time I felt touched by this indescribably beautiful guy was when I saw "You Know You're Right" video in 2002.

I payed attention to the lyrics and the video. I watched his performance on stage and some random flashback moments of him. And when he screamed, "Paaaaiiiinnn!!!" in the song, I felt like I wanted to cry. This guy wasn't just a rock star trying to make sensation. This guy suffered from the cruelty of the world. This guy hates the world. Just like me.

And when I tried to find out more about Nirvana lyrics, I realized that "this guy screamed my heart out."

People might say that he's stupid because he killed himself. I'd say he's just one of the few sensible human beings that understand that the world we see is not the world what most people see. The world we see is the world of disaster. And sometimes it drives you to a madness and an unconscious will to hate and kill yourself.

So, even though he didn't end it nicely, I won't judge him. It's hard to end it nicely. Extremely hard. I know how it feels.... to be hating myself and wanting to die.

Happy Birthday, Kurt. You probably would never know, but for me...you are something "real".